Every Day a Gift.

Aug. 27, 2017 EVERY DAY A GIFT

Help me remember each day is a gift from You.  The days are numbered.  If I only had one month what would I do?  I don’t know – maybe prepare myself to meet You and know more about my new home.  The reality is something I don’t want to think about, but we all face a day of closure, some suddenly and some with sickness.

I pray for wings of protection for my child and grandchildren and for my husband’s children and all the loved ones.

Help me to be Mary.

I needed this today. If I had one month, I don’t know what I would do. Would I feel too anxious to enjoy it? Would I have Peace knowing my home is not on earth. I struggle with worry, planning, scheduling ahead of time. Can I just rest in the moment? Emily June calls me a “Martha.” I am. I hate that. I want to be Mary… (with a little Martha!) I miss out on the moments of Joy because I am “busy” worrying about silly things. I feel a weight at home. Four personalities that are all different, instead of embracing I find myself dreading the next confrontation, argument. Maybe it is only child syndrome. I struggle with communication with my husband, because it usually comes out wrong.  My heart is usually in the right spot, yet my words don’t always reflect that.   Then when I do it is almost like a tea pot, I can explode… usually at the kids. Then we talk about it, I apologize and things go on. Why do I have to get to this point? Can I not see everyday is a gift?

Our days are numbered, what is my footprint on this earth? How do I teach my kids the only thing that matters is knowing who they are in Christ, when I am Martha? Where is my Grace, Love, Joy, Kindness?  

This week is a week of being home, still, calm. A forced family time by the country. Yet, I worry about finances, the economy, lost investments, and being still. Not what God has intended for a mother’s heart. Maybe this is His way of slowing me down, reminding me I am not in control. HE is. HE is our provider, protector, council. Lord, please let this be my hearts desire this week. I pray for time to sit, be still, enjoy the kids, and be reminded You are in control.

I want to be Mary.